First it was Paul… Saturday night was a bad night… I’m still battling this cold and went to bed to sleep around 10PM… After being woken up for the fifth time, I finally said the heck with it at 12:05AM and got up… It was everything from the neighbor’s dogs next door barking like a nut around 11:30PM to our own dogs… Including Mr. Sweetie who wanted to be lifted up into his cubby hole spot underneath my computer desk (in the living room when I was asleep in my bedroom!)…
I worked through the night until about 4-4:30AM when I started running out of steam, so I attempted to curl up on the futon for a few hours sleep until Paul got up… No sooner had we all settled in when Riley started whining and being restless (no Des the previous day or night)… Got him settled down and another neighbor started moving his dogs around (his kennel is outside in his backyard between the two houses), so that started our dogs to growling and barking… Up again… By this time I’m no longer patient and kindly toward anyone – I JUST WANT SOME SLEEP~!!!... LOL…
As I’m in the bathroom, I’m listening to Paul, Louie, Zeus and BeeGee snoring down the hallway, so that’s not an option… The futon is out… So while I considered going outside and crawling into my truck’s back seat or the lawn recliner outside (nope, there’s bugs outside at night!), I realized that Desiree’s bed (futon) was empty…
Like a thief, I snuck down the hallway into her room, quiet as a mouse and did my absolute best to not make ANY noise as I crawled into her ‘cocoon-like’ futon… Pulled her new coverlet over my head, contemplated how quiet it was in there and within seconds, I was asleep!
I vaguely heard a few dogs walking down the hallway, I suppose looking for me, but that’s ALL I heard until I was awaken by the sirens screaming down the main thoroughfare towards the hospital, and then YogiBear ‘hound-dogging’ out back… Apparently Paul had gotten up a few hours earlier and did my usual morning routine around here, then left to go run some errands… The doggie door was open and those that wanted to go out back, did so…
When Paul came in, he immediately said he’d gained a greater appreciation for what I usually do every morning – plus the fact I’d apparently shook him and Des up for neither one knew where I was!... LOL… Desiree guessed I was in her bed and had been desperate to get some sleep if I was… Good guess, Des! My little girl knows me well!... LOL…
A few hours later, Desiree came home from her 4 days of house- and pet-sitting… And she repeated the same observation of appreciation for me!... In her case, she not only had a house to look after, she also had 7 dogs, 8 cats and 2 horses – one who is named ‘Ditzy’ and has Cushings, so has to get meds every day… It’s one thing to have a 5 pound Chihuahua to do this with, but quite another to deal with a HUGE horse who’s name is pretty appropriate on top of it!...
I think her comment was (almost quoting here), “I just couldn’t believe how much work it was to get all of the stuff done every day… Now I know what you go through all the time!”… Add to that list, replenishing whatever is used up around here, picking up behind two other people, the laundry and just my own life, hobbies and passions!... LOL…
It’s not easy, but then again, whose life is, ya know?... It was nice to hear from both of my family members they realized it’s not easy to ‘walk in my moccasins’…
Desiree is opening this week at the school and as I checked at 5:45AM this morning to see if she was up, her comment to me was, “Who in God’s name puts their child in winter camp at 6:15AM in the morning????”… LOL… Parents who have a long drive and need to get to work? Parents who start early in the morning?... Desiree will have a greater appreciation for what I went through in her earlier years as I struggled to ‘do it all’ as a single working mom…
It’s so funny (at least to me), to observe Desiree (and sometimes Paul) go through something that I’ve been dealing with, almost as if it is a completely new thing… And to listen to their struggles as they encounter new obstacles, extra work, changes in their lifestyle, etc… Maybe at the end, we will ALL have greater appreciation for each other’s contributions to our family’s life, health and happiness?...
Moms and wives just don’t get enough appreciation for the things we do because after awhile, we always make it appear so easy… It’s really our own fault, ya know? (smile)… We tend to hide our struggles (‘ya never let them see ya sweat’ mindsets) and our satisfaction comes from the streamlined appearance of ‘all is well here on the homefront’… It’s very much like watching a duck swimming on a pond… Above the surface, we look serene and balanced, but under the water line, we’re paddling like crazy!
(…and I can just imagine some of you all nodding your heads in agreement on this point!)….
Over the weekend, I decided one of the main problems around here is me and not them… I have this concept of “inviting” that is severely misguided… To me, it has to look inviting before I can retire from any task or chore… The sink and kitchen needs to look “inviting” when all the dishes are washed, dried and put away… I don’t feel so apt to go cook if I see I have things to do before I can start… Same goes for just about any other thing I can think of – going into my closet and finding stuff scattered about is not ‘inviting’ to me… Although I’m so anal-retentive about my closet, it is scary!
Paul’s anal-retentive about putting his clothes away… I don’t always get the drawer stuff put away like he does, but I’m worse about the hanging stuff (I probably have more of it)… A bathroom has to be clean (at least to me) to be ‘inviting’ for me to take a shower… Even relaxing at my kitchen window looking out has to be ‘inviting’… If every time I look out, I see things that need to be done (the lawn mowed, dead flower beds needing to be clipped off, etc.) that time is not ‘inviting’ to me… Or if I’m trying to mentally concentrate on something at my computer, the background noise of ‘boom, boom, crash’ from Paul’s increased volume on the TV is not only NOT inviting, it eventually moves into annoying…
However, I have come to realize that my definition of ‘inviting’ is not the same as anyone else’s… Any time I talk to my Momma, she’s forever telling me that she needs to get her house dusted, or do this or that… Although Desiree’s room stays in a static condition of messy, I have to admit how ‘inviting’ it was when I crawled into her ‘cocoon’ and was able to snag a few hours of some much needed sleep!... Even Paul must have his own definition of ‘inviting’… Coming home, no one talking to him or bothering him in any fashion, eating something and zoning into the TV as he ‘stares into the fire’ like the cavemen must have done!... I’m trying to readjust my definitions, as you probably can tell~!!... (smile)…
This house certainly wasn’t ‘inviting’ with Desiree gone for four days and nights… I kept telling myself this is the way it is going to be soon or in a few years, so get used to it… It wasn’t easy and by Sunday afternoon, I didn’t even want to really come home after running a few errands with Paul… The idea of coming home and Desiree not being there, Paul glued to the TV and me doing what I do every day was just about more than I could think about!
What a great surprise to find she’d come home while we were gone!... At first I thought it was just another ‘stop-over’ like she’d been doing the past few days… When I realized the people she’d been house-sitting for had arrived home, and she was back for good, my attitude about being here changed immediately!
After a few minutes of ‘catch-up’ she and I headed over to Borders to browse through their ‘year-end blow-out’ sale… She and I can easily spend 2 hours or more at that store… We also stopped and got a coffee as well, still doing more catch-up and talking about things in general… My life would be not much more than a charcoal gray without the vibrant colors that Desiree brings into it… I am NOT looking forward to the day she finally moves out, as much as I know it is inevitable and is natural to happen… In my heart I will be happy for her, but I will also be sad for me…
I have never understood parents that couldn’t wait for their kids to move out and leave… I have celebrated every one of Desiree’s successes and achievements as much as I have commiserated with her set-backs and disappointments… I have thoroughly enjoyed each plateau of her life, from the second I knew she existed until the very second now… She has taught me so VERY much about life and being her mom and friend is what has made me the person I am today…
I’M SO GLAD SHE’S HOME AGAIN~!!!... LOL…
As Always,
The Lady
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