Overweight thoughts...

Mornin, Mornin... I have struggled with my weight almost my entire life... About the ONLY time I was the weight I wanted to be was during my dancing days (which ended when I got married... :(   )... Things I would want to do to exercise (sit-ups, jogging, etc.) put my back into overdrive, plus the IBS and Factor V make eating a constant challenge... Eat too much green stuff and the Factor V numbers sky-rocket, etc... Starches seem to cause me the least amount of problems (pasta, etc.) but those aren't very good to lose weight on... I love fruit, but the wrong ones and I'm in the bathroom almost immediately... 

It is like tiptoeing through a mine field each and every day - It is a daily and constant battle... 

Paul has struggled with weight his entire life as well... And while he is much more sedimentary on a daily basis than I am, his issues are really more of a scheduling and portion thingie... He fails to eat breakfast and lunch most days - so by 4-5PM, he is starving and then overeats (yes, even with a lap band)...  Paul's Achilles heel is red meat and sweets... And he can be a closet eater as well...

Sometimes I wonder how much society and lifestyle acceptance factors play into weight problems... In fact, I think about this a lot... I would prefer to eat dinner at 5PM because I go to bed around 9PM... But by the time Paul decides what he wants to eat and Desiree gets home, we're not eating dinner until 7PM most nights... And because everyone here has such different tastes, every night is a challenge to find something everyone is interested in eating!

Yep, supper is a  challenge... But it seems like it has been for quite some time!

Apparently a study has been done on art of the "Last Supper" and since this time, plates and food portions has been growing... News article... Between 23 and 69% in fact... Plate sizes grow and to fill it up and appear 'adequate' the food portions grow...

I just watched a show on 'Taboo' about obesity... It will repeat on April 10th BTW...

Part of it concentrated on Mauritania where the culture has leaned towards the deliberate 'fattening up' of females so they get married and have children... While I 'get it' in theory - much like a fatten cow appears more healthy to the eye than one underweight - I am irritated that the female species seems so 'less than' in value that weight measures someone's value as a spouse... News story about this cultural think in Mauritania...

I guess it is easier to hide all that extra weight in formless attire, but if these women had to squeeze into the apparel we do here in the U.S., I would suspect this practice of force feeding female children would stop much quicker!...

The show went onto talk about how overweight men are viewed as 'cuddly' and overweight women are 'lazy'... Boy, does society have a VERY long way to go yet, huh?

As Always,
The Lady

A Crabby Old Man

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte, Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.  Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri.

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.  And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

A Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, ... as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!

Sooooo.... what do you do?

One of those old 'free will dilemmas'... Reading this news article about this 92-year old man who admits to killing Sumatran tigers since he was 17... Seventy-five years of killing tigers, about 50 tigers, figures up to one every 18 months... 

Now what do you do with the man?... Give him five years in jail?... At 92?...

And then reading another news story about this issue, you learn a dead tiger is worth about $3,200 to an Indonesian villager... In an economy where the average monthly income is $200 and women run large home gardens to supplement their family's income about $2 a day (and this is considered  a small fortune if they are good at it)...  

I guess what bothers me the most about all of this is that our new 'BFF' (China) recently allowed 11 tigers to starve to death in one of their zoos... MSNBC article...

Is it better to allow the government to kill endangered tigers inhumanely than for a single person to have a life-long livelihood in a poverty-stricken area?... 

Or to not set aside large enough areas of natural habitat for this species (and its subspecies) to live naturally without having to hunt man to survive?...

Where does the balance of all of this settle out to be?... Jail a 92-year old man for doing something a foreign government has also knowingly done to the same endangered species?...

I mean, where does it all balance out?... Where does the evil get punished, the right get rewarded and the planet and all of its species are in harmony with each other?... 

The reverse of harmony is chaos --- when do we as the predominant species finally decide things equitably and fairly --- crossing over boundary lines of countries and poverty versus conservationism?...

Something for you to ponder today.... 

Priceless moments

Mornin, Mornin... One of the best parts of my day is early in the morning when I sit outside in the backyard, watching the dogs do their business and enjoying my first Starbucks coffee of the day... I so enjoy hearing the traffic as it passes by in the distance - it reminds me the world is alive and 'relatively well'... ... 

 The dogs don't chase the birds --- and they know it --- so they will fly down among the dogs and get insects out of the grass... I'm not an official bird watcher, but I do enjoy watching life moving in and out around my small part of the world...

Depending on what stage of their day my other two family members are in, I'll sit there and go over in my mind what I need to get done... I seem to measure my worth and abilities by how well my grass is doing this year... I look around to see what needs to be done on the patio or outside... I'll debate with myself what is most important to be done today and what, if anything, can wait...

This is such an important part of my daily life... It seems to be how I 'tune in the channels' for whatever serenity I am going to have throughout the rest of the day... I can only guess everyone has something in their life that does the same thing whether it is the morning drive to the office, the lagging in bed, etc... And while I can easily readjust my mindset according to my schedule, I realize EVERY day when I am allowed this pleasure, that this is truly a gift and to cherish it...

Once the dogs are done what they need to do, I am privileged as they walk back, 'check in', move onto play or head off for a drink, etc... On occasion, I'll get a 'luv ya mom' lick on a leg, friendly sniff of my bathrobe... Maybe even one will jump into my lap for a few pets...

I SO enjoy watching the interaction of the pack and the respect/affection they show me as the pack leader... Each morning I am reminded that they ALL have seen the worst of the human race and came close to dying in a shelter... There are few instances in my life when I can say, "I made a difference"... Even in a small way, ya know?...

And rescued dogs have an 'attitude for gratitude'... There are some that will say this is not possible for dogs don't have human feelings... I always disagree when I hear this because love and anger are both feelings - and I've seen both in a dog... I don't think dogs do selective feelings - you either have feelings or you don't... It is that simple for me...

Just as the birds instinctively know the dogs will not chase them, these dogs know they are not going to be dumped off at a shelter either... That they have 'done their time' and are now going to have enough food, a warm blankee and lots of love...

These are the moments I cherish in my day... Priceless...

As Always,

The Lady

Earthquake Cake recipe

One of my favorite things to make for my family and they LOVE it!  I put both pecans and walnuts on the bottom, but otherwise, I follow this recipe from Cooks.com:

EARTHQUAKE CAKE

Printed from COOKS.COM

---

• Preheat oven to 350°F.
• Spread 1 cup chopped pecans on the bottom of a buttered 13x9 cake pan. On top of nuts put 1 cup coconut, then pour the following batter over the nuts and coconut mixture without stirring.
• Mix 1 box German chocolate cake mix (Betty Crocker) according to package directions.
• Pour the batter gently over the coconut and set aside.
• In a saucepan, melt one stick of butter (1/4 lb) and one (8 ounce) package of Philadelphia cream cheese. Stir in one box of confectioners sugar (1 lb).
• Pay very close attention to the mixture in the pan as it will scorch easily. For this reason, it's best to use a heavy bottom pan.
• Pour the cream cheese, sugar and butter mixture over the top of the cake batter without stirring.
• Bake in a preheated 350°F for 45 minutes.
• The cake will crack in the middle. That's why it is called Earthquake cake!

Good and the VERY bad things going on

A week ago today, we began a nightmare - bundling together our phone service, Internet access and cable service... OMG~!!!

This was all part of the remodel of Paul's office area, for that is where the modem for the Internet is stored... Desiree had done all the research as to what was available and at what cost, how much we would save if we did this, etc.

While our cable was with Time Warner, our phone service (including the rescue's fax machine) and Internet access was with AT&T... Time Warner (TM) was set to come out last Friday for a '2 hour install'... While they arrived just 30 minutes late, it took 4.5 hours to complete the installation of everything... 

At the end of it all, they said our fax machine wasn't working and we needed a new one, but that phone line was OK... Paul's computer has always been hard-lined to the modem directly, but they installed wireless for my computer (in another room)... So far, so good, huh?

BUT, they couldn't transfer over our fax number and said we had to have a new one... Translation?  Recoding ALL of the pages on the rescue's website with the new fax number... OMG

Friday afternoon, I realized I could not get online... I spent 4 hours Saturday morning, trying to make it work - and then threw up my hands in disgust and ran a hard line out of my room, down the hallway, around the corner and into Paul's office to the modem... 

We went out and bought a new fax machine as instructed - Sunday morning I tried to connect it and discovered we had no dial tone at all on that line... Desiree initially started to troubleshoot it, calling TM and requesting service ("Sorry, the earliest we can get someone out there is on Tuesday" - so much for 24/7 service!)...

I asked if they could just reconnect our old fax number... I didn't call to disconnect it, TM insisted they had not done anything to our fax line, so it should be easy to reverse, right?... Of course not...

And I had INTENTIONALLY NOT contact AT&T to cancel any service until I was sure this new set-up would work... So much for advance planning...

Between Des and I, we spent almost 4 hours on the phone with TM on Sunday - never could get anything resolved... On Monday, I started early... Calling AT&T first (TM insisted it was THEIR problem), they were out within an hour and discovered TM had just simply disconnected our fax line wires at the outside box - easy fix...

But then I continued to spend time on the phone with TM, trying to get them to disconnect the fax number they had given us (and had never worked)... 4.5 hours later and 11 different people, I finally achieved this goal...

I have to tell you... I do have a TON of patience - I keep pushing through on tough issues, finding solutions and/or different options, until I finally resolve the problems... But at one point on Monday?... I was so frustrated, I was ready to break down into tears... You know - those mad, angry tears because people are hearing what you are saying, but not listening to you?... I sat for 43 minutes on one phone call, but when she finally came back, I got disconnected so I had to call back and start all over with another TM operator... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I KNEW this would be a nightmare, but I'm not so sure I was totally prepared for the absolute stupidity and 'blame-game' tossing I was going to get... I understand AT&T and TM are now competitors, but I certainly have NEVER gone out to the telephone box and messed with any of those wires! 

They never could get it all working like we had envisioned, so the fax number is still connected to AT&T (but I did not have to recode the entire website - HURRAH!!!) and we'll get two bills still, but TM has now bundled our cable, Internet and the home phone line together...

I am keeping my fingers crossed on this one, as well as the number handy to AT&T's person who was intelligent enough to realize what was going on, and how to resolve the problems~!!!

All of this seems very trivial when you think about it... A few weeks ago we got some devastating news about a dear acquaintance who had successfully fought of breast cancer four years ago to discover this past December, it has returned as pancreatic and liver cancer... Different cancers, same miserable nonprejudicial adversary of life, living and a happy, healthy existence...

I've known this person for about 10 years and she's been someone I have respected in rescue, almost to a mentor status (although she's probably never thought of herself in that fashion)... While I can't say we are friends that would call each other up and go out to dinner, etc. I consider her with genuine affection in my heart... Her heart is where is should be in regards to the animals, rescue, animal welfare and other assorted topics...

For me, the news hit even harder personally... She exercises, is healthy, eats the right foods, does the right things, is an organic supporter, etc... What chance does someone like me have of being healthy when someone so healthy gets hit with cancer?

I probably do only 50% of the things I should do, but I struggle with that... I know she is SO careful about what she eats and faithfully exercises, heavily involved in the causes she believes in (not only animal welfare) and if anyone would get the golden ticket to good health, I'd have bet you it would have been her!

Their son has moved back home and into the house with them to help out at this time of crisis... Their daughter comes back frequently from AZ... We have been taking dishes over to their home, but not wanting to intrude upon them (nor wear her out), I've called and let them know we're here for them in anything they need done...

While I can't say this has caused me to look at my own mortality (I already did that in 2005), I can say it has made me question exactly what are we supposed to be doing as humans to avoid the terrible "C"???... When someone does it all and still comes down with cancer, it is shocking to your psyche if nothing else... My battles with TM and AT&T seem trivial, if nothing else...

Every day and several times a day, my thoughts drift towards this gal and her family... When I ache or are having my own health issues to deal with, I am reminded immediately they are not in the same class as hers are... Not that it makes the pain hurt any less, or the energy level pick up any, but it does help to keep it all in perspective...

I think the thing that gets to me the most about all of this is the feeling of helplessness I have ~~~ I want to do more, What can I do?, Prayers should be enough according to what they tell us, but I worry they aren't.... I can't STAND this is happening to her, This is just NOT right, etc...

I'm left with that old mantra - "They can send a man to the moon but they can't find the cause of cancer and eliminate it!"... Is this just part of my generation's way of thinking?...

The first year of my illness was VERY difficult to accept - why me? I'm a tough broad, etc... I kept looking for the silver bullet and doctors didn't have one for me... What they had to offer was for someone with unlimited financial resources or was willing to give up on life at mid-life...

I have a PhD at protecting my vulnerable side, not letting the world see me 'sweat' as it is said... But to my own detriment, people around me don't usually see me as anything less than invincible in the most trying of situations...  It was VERY hard for me to say 'No, sorry I can't' when asked to do something by someone else... And even harder to admit to my family I was just plain worn out by the day and had to crawl back in bed to regenerate the batteries and lessen the pain levels...

I have never been a whuzz, especially when it comes to pain or getting assigned tasks done - it has been VERY difficult to not get everything done I want to each and every day... I never, EVER want anyone to think I am lazy, but I have laid in bed, rolling over in my head the list of things I didn't get done today and lacking the energy to push my body any further - at least for the next hour or so!

I can only believe everyone who has chronic issues or life-threatening crisis situations go through exactly the same thing... Life as we know it --- even in the worst of times --- is precious and priceless... The 'gopher holes' in life seem not so bad if you are still getting through the extreme valleys and high pinnacles of life, ya know?

I know in the Family we have several prayer chains going on, so please make a point of including "Kathy in California" in the prayers... If anyone I know or have met in my life SHOULD win in this battle, it is CERTAINLY her, so the prayer chains have worked for others - let's hope they do their miracles with her too!

As Always,

The Lady

Spare change and the economy...

I tend to look down and REALLY watch where I walk after having taken a few bad falls (and usually on my back or butt)... Having little ones around the house does cause you to do the 'Chi shuffle' as we call it (small steps and careful ones so you don't accidentally step on a small one!)... I am almost phobic about slipping on something wet, but still have managed to fall twice going into grocery stores on rainy days...

With this peculiar habit of mine, I have noticed something since different since the economy tanked - I don't find as much change as I used to!... Probably because everyone is so careful about every penny they have, every nickel and dime is important...

Seriously, at least once or twice a week on my travels, I'd find some change someone has dropped because I tend to watch where I put my feet to avoid falling... I've found $20 bills as well... I guess this is a good thing because people are being more careful about not losing their money so easily, but I just thought it was odd the tanking economy has had such a 'trickle-down' effect that I happened to notice...

There is a guy in my city that collects found change - here's his blog - he uses found money to benefit kids in tennis... I throw mine into a donation jar for the rescue...

I have often wondered while watching the History Channel how these odd artifacts and coins have been found as ancient sites are excavated... Ancient peoples probably are no different than today's generation... Lost change ends up somewhere, whether it was 2,000 years ago or just yesterday!

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Speaking of change, we've started a fundraiser for the dog rescue... After a LOT of experimenting until we finally figured out the perfect way to knit a sweater that fits a Chihuahua with their odd configuration, another volunteer and I have started knitting these sweaters... We call them "Chi-Weaters" and there's a website up now with the ones we have finished HERE... They are one-of-a-kind and because they're handmade, we'll never make a gazillon of them... But when I sit down to watch TV, I always have a set of knitting needles in my hands!

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I began to dig into the 'Black Hole of Calcutta' this past week - otherwise known as Paul's office... It is the last room in this house to be remodeled (a project we started almost five years, 3 surgeries and numerous illnesses ago)... The ceiling still has that popcorn junk on it, and underneath the carpet there is tile from when the house was built 40+ years ago...

Paul wants a new computer after having killed another one, but it made no sense to do that without redoing the room...

Progress is slow because I can only take so much of that up and down on the ladder before I call 'uncle'... It is a small room with a LOT of stuff in it also, so you work a little, move crap, work a little more, move more crap, etc...

As I shift through stuff, I have found three previous organization attempts where I left a box and a note that says, "You need to sort through this"... I am vowing this will be my LAST time to ever do this again... Paul is a pile-er-oner... He makes these piles from printer stuff, incoming mail, etc. and then never goes through them so the stuff eventually gets lost...

While my computer desk tends to get piles growing on it too, I tend to get into a frenzy and push through a pile because I can't stand looking at it any more... LOL... Of course, it is his office or 'man-cave' as Desiree calls it, so this is my last time at attempting to clean it up and after this, he is on his own!

The half of the room that has been repainted and finished except for the floors looks pretty remarkable, but this has been a much slower process than I anticipated... I'm getting too old to do this kind of manual labor!... (smile)... For the past few days when I've climbed out of bed, I've felt about 102 instead of 52... Every bone and joint is creaking... I will be VERY glad when I have it all finished, but at the rate I am going, it will take another week at least... The older I get, the slower I seem to move!... So much for the 'golden years'... They lie to us!

As Always,
The Lady